[I wrote this nearly a year ago but never posted it. It made me chuckle to read it today and see the irony that this year I feel so similarly about not returning to college. The little encouragement past-Tessa gave ended up being for me now. And knowing how many joyous things ended up being part of last year at school… it gives my heart a tiny hope-flutter. That it will all make sense someday.]
“Winds of Change” by Russ Taff. Reminded me that when I feel like I’m just floating around in life, maybe I’m riding the wind He sends to take me on our adventure.
August 24, 2014–
Drive with me.
Wherever we go, I want your hand to be over mine.
I want you to fiddle with the radio to find a song we love.
I want your laughter to travel through the car.
I want you to make me feel safe.
I just want to be with you.
Drive with me.
“Hope in Front of Me” by Danny Gokey (or Gurkey, as my mom once called him). The first song I heard on the radio as I drove to school, not seeing one piece of anything exciting to come. There is hope in front of me, even when it’s hard to believe.
August 26, 2014–
I didn’t feel your arms when I cried on the highway today.
But right now I remember the moment,
And I see you.
Can I just rest in you forever?
Even if this storm passes?
I won’t make it without your arms
“Multiplied” by NEEDTOBREATHE. Words me and Jesus shared on the way home from school.
August 28, 2014–
Just love, he said.
Love and serve and love again,
And it will all make sense soon.
But had somehow forgotten.
This is why I know we need each other.
I want to be sappy for a second and deeply thank everyone who encouraged me this week. Beginning my sophomore year of college still not knowing what my future looks like is a little hard, but so many have reminded me of what’s important, of the joys that are all around me, of the promises I’ve been given, of the fact that I can ask God the same question as many times as I need to, of my identity. I need community, and you are the best I could ask for. Thank you!
And to you who are grown up but still feel like you’re just floating around– ride the wind. He knows where He’s taking you, and He’s completely willing to just sit with you and hug you when you’re scared. He did that for me all this week, and the last few days I was able to walk around campus still feeling the warmth of Him. You’re not alone.