I’ve been learning about the kingdom lately; it’s been on my mind all the time, even amidst all the other things in the mess of my brain right now.
I was reminded a few months ago that there is no marriage in the kingdom. We don’t need it there, because we are married to Christ and are brothers and sisters in the one, complete family. I love that image. A spiritual mom told me this, just in passing, but it has stuck with me and I think of it almost daily. No matter how I feel toward someone or what role they end up playing in my life here, in the kingdom we will be brother and sister, a family. If I invest in him as someone I simply love– if I give of myself to him and am genuinely loving toward him without any agenda of becoming more– I’m not going to lose him. I get to keep that. Marriage is going to be great, I’m pretty excited for it, but it shouldn’t be the goal of a relationship with someone. The goal is to share love. Period.
I’ve also been thinking the past few days about treasures in heaven. I used to imagine that my treasures in heaven, the rewards for the things I do here, would be a bigger mansion or more gold and jewels; literal treasure I’d be able to touch. I never really thought about it for more than a few seconds.
But this week, I’ve been incredibly aware, incredibly sensitive to what’s around me. Because I’m leaving a lot of things behind to follow His lead in what I know will be mind-blowingly good. I don’t know what that will be yet, but I know He wouldn’t take me this far to give me less; I know He works all things for my good, even if it means I have to give up what I think is unsurpassingly great. When I have to leave something that makes me think, “What could be better than this?”
That is so exciting.
Because it means something is. Something is better than this, and this is already crazy good. I might have to wait to see what this even-better thing is, and it might be painful to wait and to leave so much in the process. But, oh… it’s going to be so worth it. He sees. He knows. And He’s in this.
In this place right now, with nine days left before I leave what I so dearly love, I am more sentimental than I can remember ever being. I just want to hug everyone, and spend as much time with everyone as possible, and show up early, and go home late, and sit in my favorite places, and… I just want all of the little things. Because they make my heart soar; they’re home. And the Lord has been showing me:
These are the treasures. I get to keep them.
The love I’m sharing in– the kindesses, the heart, the hope, the encouragement, the genuine hugs, the knowing glances, the compassion, the oneness of heart– these are eternal things. If I invest in these things, I am investing in things that will not fade away. Where I spend my time will fade; the work I do will fade; the accolades I’m given will fade. But not the eternal things. Not love, not kindness, not hope, not joy. I get to keep these. I am not losing anything, because the things I treasure most? I’m taking them with me. They are eternal. Because I invested in these eternal things on earth, I’ll have them in heaven. And maybe that’s what He meant when He spoke of treasures in heaven– not a reward for doing good, but simply having good that won’t fade.
To my dear friends, whom I love with all my heart: I am so glad that I get to keep you.