Spring & The Winter in My Chest

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Spring has come early this year.

They told me the winter was going to be longer, but here we are now, the blossoms staring defiantly in their doubtful faces.

Part of me feels like I’m not ready. Like I need to finish winter, need to feel numb from the cold a little longer, need to stay under the covers in the chilly morning a few more times, need to let a snowfall isolate me. But I drive through the city every day, and the trees wave proudly at me with their new pink and white branches. They are accepting of it. They are living in the season they’ve been given even if it seems too early, even if there’s still a chance of the frost coming to stop their growth in mid-reach.

It is spring in the midst of winter.

The trees are growing and blossoming and reaching a new height of beauty at a time when it doesn’t seem ideal, doesn’t seem safe, doesn’t seem sensible. And would you look at that– they are still breathtaking.

The season may be wrong on paper, but the trees know. The bulbs in the ground know. The strange bush outside my window knows. The only one in the dark has been me.

This is the season. The time has come. It may seem premature, risky, illogical. Yet things are growing and beginning to take shape, and no one can control that. It is simply time.

And yes, it is very possible that the dreaded, looming frost could return and halt any progress being made. Everything could be ruined. But right now– right now— everything is growing. The time was right, and it began, without prompting or permission or a starting line. It simply knew it was time to begin.

Begin. Even when conditions are seemingly terrible, even when the cost could be great, even when sometimes you don’t understand (let alone everyone else)– you know it is time. You know. You feel the growth inside you and it aches to come out but you feel like you have to leave where you are first.

No. No. The growth is already happening. And you cannot control it, cannot contain it. You have to live in it. The spring you’ve been longing for is here. It feels like winter, but you know. He has told you, and you know. Listen. Rejoice in this growth that is starting to create changes in you. And go where they take you even if it doesn’t make sense.

Spring has come. Don’t let the winter in your chest keep you from it.

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