Fourteen inches. Over a foot of snow in my backyard. You might be laughing at me if you hail from places that get this every winter, but I had never been housebound for so long before; my cabin fever grew worse and worse every day.
The snow storm in December coincided with finals week. It was the first ever snow day for this homeschooled girl! However, finals still needed to be taken. I only had to take two, and was able to take one from home, but one still required me to brave the 45 minute commute to campus. What did we do? My dad took a day off work to drive me in his car with chained tires; meanwhile, he and my mom would restock the groceries. Haha!
It felt like a giant adventure after being stuck at home for almost two weeks. There was still snow everywhere, but my dad is a rock star at driving in it so I felt safe. My test went well, I waved a goodbye that would have to last until next semester, and my parents came with the car shortly after.
Why am I even telling you about this? Well…
I was promised something on the drive home. And I think you might be able to share in it in some small way.
We were about 5 minutes from home. I cannot possibly count how many times I have driven on that same street; I’ve lived in this house in the countryside my entire life, and everything has always been at least half an hour away. I know the street almost remarkably well. But on this day, driving home in the snow from my first completed semester of college…
Everything looked brand new.
The wood carver’s yard was unrecognizable to me; the only way I knew it was his was the tall flag pole with the eagle carving on the tip. The trees made me feel like I was in my favorite stories about winter and Jack Frost and fairies. The road in front of me could have led anywhere. I knew everything that was there, yet it was different. No wood carver. No forest reserve. No highway. It was completely new. I felt a sense of not knowing where I was– and being one hundred percent okay with that. I heard something in my spirit then:
“I want to do this in you.”
It still makes me shiver.
I know myself; I’ve never been anyone but myself, and I always see the same things inside me. But… maybe things won’t be this way much longer. Maybe Jesus wants to surprise me with who I become. Maybe everything inside me that I am so familiar with is going to be washed white; renewed; made beautiful; open to any possibility and any state as long as He ordains that it be so. Maybe any winter inside my chest is not as terrible as I’ve always thought it to be. Maybe radical change is His heart for me.
That drive home in the snow has stuck with me, and recently I’ve been remembering it every day. I think it’s coming; I’m seeing connections. I think things are being changed into something I’ve never seen. And I’m scared.
But I cannot wait to see the beauty of this completely new place. Because I know He’s there.