I am so sorry. I am so, so sorry. For so many things.
I am sorry that you don’t see the intense BEAUTY you possess. Not a beauty that makes people want you, but a beauty that makes people VALUE you. Because you have immeasurable value.
I am sorry that you have not been respected by anyone in many years. That people see you simply to look at you, for their own pleasure, instead of actually SEEING you, as a human being with a beating heart, or seeking YOUR pleasure.
I am sorry that the only thing that ever gets you any attention leaves you with nothing. I am sorry that you are being robbed of things that should never be taken from you or the ones you love. I am sorry that it seems as if there is no other way, no way out. I am sorry that things are so dim that you don’t even see value in what is being stolen from you anymore.
I am sorry that everyone insists what they do to you is acceptable. I am sorry that whoever lied to you was such a filthy liar that you eventually believed them. I am sorry that you still believe them.
But listen to me now:
THIS IS NOT WHO YOU ARE.
You have a name, and I know it. You have a heart, and I make it beat. You have value, and I am the one who made it so that no one can take it away. Your value is found in me.
My name is Jesus.
I am the one who gave you your beauty. I am the one who doesn’t believe the lies they have told you. I am the one who wants to rescue you from this place.
I am your husband.
I will never treat you as anything less than you are, and I believe that you are worth more than any amount of riches. I love you with a love that led me to a cruel death to save you. You are the reason I am still alive. I love you. THAT is love.
I am love.
And I want you to have me.
I am sorry. I am sorry that you are numb. I am sorry that even though you hear these words you do not feel them to be true.
But they are true.
I love you.
And I will never stop.
I see into your heart, the only thing still hidden from the world. I understand why you keep it stone.
But I make stony hearts bleed.
You will know me someday. You will know the truth one day. And I will keep loving you, even before you do.
I love you.
You will be safe.
[This was written the day I accidentally found pornography. I don’t know how much of it was written by me because it turned into His voice, but it’s written to anyone who has been the subject of porn in any form. As a personal note from me, I want to tell you that I am so infinitely sorry I saw you; even if I didn’t see you specifically, I saw someone, and they didn’t belong to me, just like so many have seen you without any right. I cried for you yesterday, sobbed, because I just can’t believe what people steal from you. I pray for your wholeness. You are a human being, with a face and a name, and THAT’S what I want to see. THAT is you. I am truly sorry.]