Lesson 1: God is brilliant with timing. My self-assigned theme for what I wanted to learn about most this month was “Being God’s Child”, because of my unexpected prayer that brought tears: “Teach me to call you Father.” It still gives me chills, by the way! However, I didn’t really get a life lesson on this subject this month, at least that I could perceive. That was a lesson itself, that God has perfect timing in the lessons He teaches. Maybe I’m not ready to learn about our Father-daughter relationship yet. Maybe He’s working on something else inside me right now. No matter what it is, I will be eager to learn! I did actually learn a lesson about His timing this month, too! It was a jaw-dropper! To hear it, hover over “Holding On” by Generation Unleashed on the sidebar. You might as well listen to the song while you’re at it! It is gorgeous and always gets the air thick with God’s presence.
Lesson 2: If home is where the heart is, then my home is where You are. I’m not exactly sure why, but this month I have connected to many songs that speak of home. Maybe it’s because sometimes nothing else cuts it. I think there are periods when I am just restless, when nothing matters to me as much as the fact that I feel SO ready to spend eternity with Jesus, and it makes it hard to feel at home here. Another reason may be that I stray but He still calls me home; that, to me, is one of the most important things He does for me, and I praise Him for it! These songs that He has sent me give a little peace in the waiting, a sign that He hears my heart and that what He hears matters to Him! The most influential of these songs to me were “This Is Home” and “Where I Belong” by Switchfoot, and “Long Way Home” by Steven Curtis Chapman.
Lesson 3: God knows me better than I do. I had the wonderful opportunity to dress up and have a tea party with my beloved Bible study group this Valentines Day! We took pictures, had delicious food, played music, belly laughed, shared hearts, and– what I’m talking about today– heard a devotional from my friend Savana’s mom, Brenda. I shared the main lesson I took away from her message in Beautiful in His Eyes, but I learned many more things, and one of the biggest is that I know myself as well as the Barbies I colored. Haha! Let me explain! Brenda gave each of us 3 copies of the same coloring sheet: a Barbie in a long dress. We labeled one as “body”, one as “soul”, and one as “spirit”, and were told to write things about those areas of ourselves on the sheets as we colored. Does my first statement make more sense now? I didn’t know what to write. I could write fun facts, but not really anything deep. The deepest thing was an observation by my friend Holly! It showed me that I don’t really know myself, and that gave me yet another reason to seek Jesus. If He lives inside my heart, He knows what’s in it! I need Him to tell me who I am, who He created me to be, and I think I’ll see a lot more once He does. I know one thing that I am: His.
Lesson 4: Bad attitudes do nothing and are often big liars. This month, I was constantly threatened with my biggest temptation: a bad attitude. The worst attitude I had in February was because I was asked to do something I hated and go outside my comfort zone. I couldn’t see that this was a wonderful opportunity, an honor. All I saw was hardship, because I looked at it through fear. When the time came to go through with what I had to do, I was ashamed. It was fun and not at all stressful! I worried and grumbled the whole month, lacing it with ugliness, for nothing! Do not do what I did! When you don’t like what you have to do, when you’re afraid and you want to look at the glass as half empty, stop and consider God’s wonders! If you look through His eyes, you see open doors and good things– the things that are truly there!
Lesson 5: God DOES speak, and sometimes through the most unexpected people. I was having an extremely hard time a few weeks ago. Lots of inside pressure, making me crumble on the outside. As I was talking to Jesus late into the night, I lamented to Him, “I can’t hear you, but I wish I could. Please speak. Let me hear you.” The next day or so, I burst into tears in class. I tried to hide it in my hands, but soon someone saw me. They ran to me, hugged me, and prayed for me. Now, this was mind-boggling, because I thought this person hated me! Yet ever since that day, they have been nothing but kind to me! That next Sunday, my church had a worship service. Still hurting inside, I sat alone in my pew, elbows on the pew in front of me, and sobbed into my arms as the music played. After a while, a girl whom I’d recently been getting to know found me and asked if she could pray for me. I said yes. She wrapped her arms around me, and as she prayed I started crying even harder. EVERY SINGLE THING SHE PRAYED WAS EXACTLY WHAT I NEEDED! I told her so when she finished, and SHE began to cry! She said, “That’s so crazy! I don’t even know you that well yet! That was totally God, not me!” That same night, when I got home, my dad came into my room and asked me if I was okay. I started crying again and told him about my struggles. The next half hour, my dad, who has lost his footing in His walk with God, talked to me about faith! My dad was originally going to be a pastor, and I saw that gift in him more than ever that night! It gave me hope for both me and him, and I think he refreshed himself, too. God does indeed speak, and might just use people who hated you, people you hardly know, and people who doubt Him to do it!
Lesson 6: Beauty is everywhere, although I can’t always see. By now you can see that I was blind this month. I am gathering all these lessons after the fact, and that further proves this lesson! Even when I don’t see, there are things to see. Being blind doesn’t change the fact that things are there; it simply means that I can’t see them the way I am. It reminds me of the fantastic song “Lovely Traces” by Krystal Meyers: I lost my direction/ ’cause I couldn’t see/ what a beautiful picture/ You would complete/ in me/. God is helping me to open my eyes, and one day of this month in particular was a big step! I did well in school. I heard much from my Bible reading. It was the first gorgeous spring-like day of the year. I laughed a lot. I unexpectedly attended a concert at my youth group. Shipwreck Pedro and Josiah James, the acts of this concert, were down-to-earth and fun to listen to, and I was able to buy a cd. Everything about that day was right, and that was such a gift! I prayed the night before that He would renew my sense of wonder, and He is! To share a bit of the beauty I saw that day with you, I’ll give you a taste of the concert! The Shipwreck Pedro song is called “Ecclesia”, which is the only one YouTube has and, ironically, my favorite! As for the Josiah James song, I don’t remember if he played “Waiting for Forever” at my youth group, but it’s my favorite of his that I have heard so far! Super pretty! Click to listen: here for “Ecclesia” and here for “Waiting for Forever.” Back on subject, I try to find the beauty in every day now, even when it’s hidden. Like my favorite Building 429 song says, Nothing is hidden where you look. Because of that, I think March’s post will be much more positive! Sometimes you need to be blind to appreciate your sight, and that is now clearer than ever to me!